Suicide

=2008=

Support Videos

 * Practical Consequences of Suicide in the Afterlife
 * David Hans Schmidt from Heaven - My Suicide
 * Marcus--My Suicide -Vlogs from Afterlife
 * Ronald "Bo" Ward:AfterLife-- My CrossOver- My Suicide?
 * The design of Loneliness
 * AA 1 from Afterlife: Many Lives and still No Answer
 * AA 2 from Afterlife: Destroying Life Because I Find no Point
 * ‪How does Self-Forgiveness work and how do I know I'm effective

Solution series

 * The Solution of Writing Yourself to Freedom
 * The Solution for Oneness
 * Solution of changing the past into Guiltlessness
 * The Solution of Self-Forgiveness
 * The Solution of Amalgamating as Life
 * The Solution as Equality in Practical Application
 * The Solution of Realizing Fear Sucks
 * The Solution of Breath in Every Moment
 * The Solution of Action as Self Movement

A history of Spiritual Deception from After Life

 * Uersti – A history of Spiritual Deception from AfterLife

Transcribed and typed by Uersti through the interdimensio­nal portal

Suicide and Cross Over
No need to worry about those that pass over. They are fine and in their process to find self honesty as life.

It is more pronounced for suicides, as they have to face what they ran from-- their own separation from self as life.

At this stage the dimensions are in very intensive self reflection. Understand that most of a being is no more upon death as the mind no longer exist and only sound exist as self.

In itself it is difficult for us on earth to understand, but the very reason that we are unable to readily and consistently communicate to the dimensions as all of us -is enough to realise we have very little real insight in what makes the total reality tick.

We are investigating ways to be able to assist beings to become more effective upon death--this though is complex due to the no space no time situation the dead find themselves in--as that cause multi dimensional possibilities based on perceptions.

Be sure though that each being is taken care of.

On passing -- each is contained and clear of any earth system debris. Then the being become universally aware as all knowledge of all time and all existence. This cause a quantum realisation of the bigger picture.

Then the being enter a process of self forgiveness and self reflection on all past lives of all beings that has ever been to understand how we got to this position on earth. Then the being are tested as to self honesty as life, and may incarnate or will assist the process of all in the journey to one and equal.

We no longer do any readings with cross overs. We did many over the last few years. All experience exactly the same and it cause a problem where we are so swamped with requests--we do not get effectively to our primary focus--to find practical ways to assist humans to realize common sense and self honesty as life.

That is also the reason why our interviews will change to focus on points that assist self realization.

Question
Suicide. i've thought too often of suicide now and in too much detail, and 'hidden' motivation to do this for sometime. Getting to points where i really wanted to just do it. I have thought really hard in some occasions. I figured just now, that my end will be a suicide, inevitably. I see me in the future fucked as i am now only worse-- with absolutely nothing but the world i fucked over. I say to myself about 20 times a day: "i want to die" "I dont want to be here anymore" "Why" "kill me" "just fucking kill me" i'm really freaked out by this happening for so long and it getting more intense and more consistent and real.

Perspective
Suicide is only contemplated by those unwilling to be self responsible that require some form of a savior and that have conditions they desire to be fulfilled before they become self honest as life.

That is why all suicides now incarnate as lady bugs to experience the helplessness when they are used as the food for those that plant eggs inside them -- to understand that false helplessness is only self spitefulness.

Question
Is it true that anything (sins) that anybody does during their life time on earth does not crossover to the dimensions?

Perspective
It was like that before - now - no.

When you cross-over -- you are faced with all of you that you have become here on earth as a mind consciousness system - you 'walk through' processes of self forgiveness and self application - to take responsibility for yourself. So that you may realise, understand and become aware of who you are so you may stand within and as human beings and direct, support and assist them as you as one with you to realise who they are as life within and as oneness and equality.

There's no escaping what each human being have accepted and allowed themselves to become - there's no hiding and there's no running away - you're coming face to face with you - whether here or in the dimensions - to stand up and take self responsibility to no more accept and allow the mind - but stand and live as life.

Veno

Question
The shit in this world is gonna get real bad. I'd love to stay and be a part of the show, but I would like to be in the audience for once. I think checking out is the best thing anyone can do to get out of this living hell on earth. Cho got it right, go out with a bang. Anyone who disagrees with me may come forward.

Will I die in the Dimensions? Do I got time in the dimensions? If I don't die, and if I've got forever to become free from the systems that Anu placed in me, then I'll go there. Fuck college. Fuck religion. Fuck Government. Fuck this world. As long as I've got time, and as long as it is possible to become free, time in the dimensions is no opposition to anyone. As long as I can get there

Perspective
You don't want to remove yourself from this world - every being that has crossed over and I mean every single one that has removed themselves from this world has experienced the most deepest profound regret and shame imaginable.

See - I 'meet' the beings the moment they 'cross-over' - and every single one that has crossed over and removed themselves from this world has regretted it - extensively - and their having to 'make peace' with the fact that: Okay - I'm here now and I am not able to return to my life as was as I left it and get a 'second chance' or opportunity - is extremely difficult for them.

Why? Because they couldn't believe that they allowed such a fallible, frail thing as the mind system to influence them to the 'point' where they considered and allowed themselves to remove themselves from this world.

I do not 'wish' that experience for you - if you 'think' or 'perceive' what you're experiencing now is 'bad' and 'too difficult' to 'live with' - man - you haven't yet experienced the most deepest mournful sorrow of regret and shame for taking your own life.

And that regret stays within you - because you'll always remember what you have allowed - you have allowed the mind - a system to have power and control over you.

Removing yourself because of the mind - not acceptable. You giving up your opportunity to birth yourself as life from the physical within and as oneness and equality because of the mind - unacceptable.

It is 1000 fold more difficult and intense in the dimensions - there doesn't exist stability - and to stabilize yourself in the dimensions - that self trust as you - is not simple and takes a very, very, very long time it the dimensions to stand as self stability and self trust - making sure in every moment that your expression is of life within and as oneness and equality and not of an alternate reality you have created and designed.

You are only able to birth yourself as life from the physical - you are not able to do this in the dimensions.

You 'think' you're running away or getting out - but actually you are running full steam towards the very 'thing' you are attempting to run away from in even considering removing yourself from this world. Because in the dimensions - you still face yourself - more extensively than here - there's no hiding, no running away, no quick exit - it doesn't exist - you will face yourself and everything you are experiencing now - whether here or in the dimensions - the dimensions it is tough, extremely difficult - here on earth - much, much, much simpler - very much so.

Thus - I would suggest you face yourself here - apply self forgiveness, apply self honesty in every moment - because what you stated above are words of the mind - and not as life within and as oneness and equality. Stop the mind and do not allow it to control you. Pull up your socks and stand up - do not allow yourself to be 'subject' to the mind.

There is no easy way out - there is no quick exit - there is no hiding - there is no running away. So I suggest you start applying yourself in this moment - self forgiveness - there are examples of self forgiveness on the forum - though if you require any specific self forgiveness applications - let me know and I'll give you a start.

Walk this process here and get it done. You have dimensional support with you in every moment and you have plenty of support and assistance here - so - get your ass in gear and stand up and start.

I do not want to see you in the dimensions - you are not welcome here. I will send you back no matter what - you will make it here whatever it takes - I am the 'gatekeeper' of the dimensions - I will send your ass right back because you have no excuse to want to remove yourself - or allow the mind to control and have power over you: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

So - let me know what forgiveness applications you require - what you experience within you - give me words and I'll give you self forgiveness direction so you may take your own power and direct yourself.

Veno

Perspective
That would be abdicating your responsibility towards you. What must be understood is that we have existed for eons of time and have participated in this existence for eons of time, at the moment – we are here. Thus – each one of us is individually responsible for what we have become and existence as ourselves have become – and thus, in taking self responsibility for ourselves, to stand up and stop what we have accepted and allowed to exist within ourselves and exist within existence as ourselves: We stand up as who we are as all as one as equal as life.

Question
I feel as if I am the tree in the middle of the forest. I hear of great wars, aliens, gods and most importantly REPTILIANS (supposedly these creatures rule humans and can manipulate and transform?). I am scared, emotional (The smallest of things can tear into me like a hot knife into butter) and tired. I want nothing more to do with myself or this plane, dimension or whatever it is or isn't. I tried to summon DEMONS but to no avail; It was so sad, I was sure they could take my pain away. Perhaps I will try again tonight.

Perspective
Hi, My name is Slamez.

I deliberately removed myself from this world a few months ago, because I really believed that it would solve all my problems that I experienced within me, that seemingly didn't want to go away and always just got worse, until I finally decided that I had enough and the only way I believed to be the way out is to remove me from this world, because I thought that the problems I was experiencing within me was because of this world. I thought and believed that what I experienced within me was because I was in this world, this world was doing this to me - and I had to get out.

I did not realise that it was actually me who did all that I experienced within me - to myself, that it wasn't this world's fault, the world wasn't to blame - I was responsible.

And that's quite a tough one to realise, because I didn't want to know / understand that I was actually responsible for what I experience within me - because it's so much easier to blame it and fault it on something or someone else other than self. I realised that in doing this - I was being a coward.

I only blamed and faulted the world because I was too shit scared to actually take responsibility for me within me - and used blame and fault on the world and others of this world to manipulate others to 'feel sorry for me' / 'help me' because I didn't want to do it - but rather gather pity from others so that they must help me out of what I experienced instead of me doing it for me.

But the irony of it all was that I was alone and I had no-one else to manipulate but myself. So I continued to blame and fault everything and everyone around me - and I did this, I continued to experience the shit I did inside myself, and it got worse, much worse - as to in such a way keep on justifying why I experience what I am within me - until I finally made the biggest mistake known within this existence...

And I now realised that I deliberately fucked myself - as though I was deliberately manifesting the experience of me, so that I would get back at something or someone if I fuck myself up to the extent where I'm not able to handle it anymore, then when I remove myself from this world can say: 'Look, look what you have done to me - this is your fault, you did this to me.' But this didn't happen...

When I removed myself from this world, I for a split second didn't experience anything, a real refraction of a moment - that refraction of a moment when I removed myself...

But then after that split second refraction of a moment, then - everything came rushing back, all that I experienced within me here on earth was still fucking here, I was still here - even after I have removed myself from this world. I was dead - but everything that I experienced here on earth within me, was still here! I couldn't believe it.

You can just imagine my reaction: The anger I experienced within me was so great - an anger that I had not experienced before ever. Because I really, really thought and believed my experience would just STOP and I would cease to exist (I did not believe in the afterlife while here on earth) - but fuck, I still existed and everything else within me of what I experienced on earth still existed - along with immense pain, pain so intense a human being within a human physical body would not handle it and die in a minute of experiencing such pain - yes, one do experience pain even after death.

Here's how I fucked myself in this world and also furtherly fucked myself by removing myself from this world:

I did not complete my education degree within this world, because my father drank himself to death - I remember us looking for him one evening, because he was gone for a day, he usually came back from drinking after work at around 5-6 am in the mornings, but when he didn't come back the one morning and the entire next day, my mother, grandmother, grandfather, and little sister and I went looking for him. During this time I was eight years old. We found him in a junkyard (my sister and I) - with his bottle of liquor in his hand, beaten up pretty bad - he had a hole in his head - dead.

I for one was relieved - I remember in that moment saying thank you. When I was young I didn't believe in a God per say, yet I did talk to it - I asked for my father to go away as he beat up my sister - he never touched me. I only asked for that which I knew I wouldn't; be able to do myself, but maybe that there's something / someone that could. I even wished on stars for him to go away.

My sister was a year younger than me - she died when I was 10, she was 9. She got sick, fever - and no-one could bring the fever down, not even the doctors and she died within three weeks of falling ill, everything within her just shut down - I was certain that it was because of all those years of my father beating her up, raping her. Before she died she said: I will be your angel that protects you.

My grandmother fondled with me as well when I was young - from the ages of about 5 to 7 years, until I was eight and I slapped her in the face and said to her: Don't do this to me, it hurts - then she stopped.

So, I was left to fend for the family. We raised chickens in our backyard which was our source of income - entered some of the chickens in fights, others laid eggs which we sold at the local store. This is what I did until I was 15 - at 15, before I finished that particular year of schooling - I left school. Because I decided: Why the hell go to school if I already know my life is not going to go anywhere?

No-one cared whether I left.

I started stealing to earn extra income for myself, which I decided I would save to get myself away from the town within which I lived. Everything just slowly started falling apart - because I did not tend to the chickens, my mother seldom did - she was broken when my sister and father died - even though she knew what he had done to her child. She was so goddamn afraid of him. And because of this also - she started hitting me - with pans and pots, she had no-one else to vent on, but me - and so she did.

I got quite good at stealing - I didn't steal much from people's home, just items that they'd think they've missed placed and not recognize that it's been stolen. I watched people's home during the days - check when they'd be there and when not and so I'd plan the exact appropriate time to get in. This is how I took care of myself - I stole clothes and when I was in other people's houses I'd eat as well.

I only went home to sleep. My grandmother and grandfather left when I was 17 - my mother and myself alone. My mother was taken care of by other people in the town sending her food. She didn't care about me whatsoever - she stopped talking to me and only started hitting me after my sister died.

I started becoming involved with some older guys when I was 17 / 18 - involved from the perspective of 'befriending'. So I got introduced to heroin. I then bought the heroin through all that I have stolen from other people's houses - mostly jewelry and cash that I found. I slept wherever I could because I didn't go home ever again since that time I used heroin - I never saw my mother again.

I'd been in prison when I was 22. In prison I was fucked up pretty badly by other men (raped also) - I was thin and scrawny then. I'd never had sex with a woman in my life while on earth - only those times with my grandmother and then the men in prison.

'The guys' - I called them 'My Heroiinis' - jumped me, knived me one evening when I could not pay them for the heroin I used up.

Went to a 'hospital' when someone found me. Started working there and also stayed there - asked if I could have a job cleaning. So I did that - seeing sick people every day really got to me. This was when I was 23. Me and another guy working there started smuggling out medications and used it to get high - injecting ourselves with all sorts of shit, experimenting with it.

I was then one evening found where I stayed in the hospital - I had injected all sorts of into me and the bottles was lying around. I was then just thrown out - left with nothing.

I begged on the streets - stayed on the streets for a few months until I turned 24. I couldn't take it anymore. I had heard of some guys on the streets selling guns. I begged to save up money to buy one. So I did. I bought myself a bottle of alcohol, finished it and then shot myself in a field far away from town - and it was done. So - I died before I was 25 years old.

This is but what happened with me in my life. The actual experiences within me, what was going on - would take me a book to write, and this is but an concise description of my experience.

I am here to share my experience with you, because I would not want me as you to do what I have done unto myself, by making the most biggest mistake that could possibly be made within one's existence.

I understand that my life seems like a reason to remove myself from this world - shit, it did at the time. But I could've lived differently - that is most definitely certain. All that I experienced I did to me and there were many opportunities with which I would've been able to stop - but I just continued fucking myself up. Continued to blame it on my father, God, mother, the world others because of what they did to me...

See - I thought and believed that the reason I wanted to remove myself from this world was because of the circumstances I found myself in, in this world - but it's not so - the self honest truth is, is that I was wanting to get away from myself because I could not live with myself anymore, I could not handle me anymore, I could not deal with me anymore.

And the reason I say that it is the biggest mistake that I could've made is because all that I experienced within me, which I wanted to have stop, to get out: Was still with me after death. And if you look at my life - you can just imagine what I went through and what still existed within me, even after I had died. And then I realised - that it made no difference to the experience of me within me, when I removed myself from this world - nothing changed but my environment - I was still left with me and all of me as what I experienced within me.

So - the self honest truth you must realise is that the reason you're even considering removing yourself from this world - is not because of this world, other human beings etc. - it's because of YOU, and YOU alone. It's got nothing to do with your circumstance or environment - it's got to do with who you are in this moment and how you're experiencing you within you. You actually want to get away from yourself and what you experience within you. And you currently think / believe that if you'd remove yourself from this world you'd be free from what you're experiencing now: You will most certainly not be. You will bring with everything you experience within you in this moment now - exactly what you're experiencing now - you'll still experience after death - together with the pain.

I would suggest not removing yourself from this world to only then realise what I had because of what I had done to myself:

To discover that you are responsible for what you experience within you - and it's got nothing to do with this world or others in this world - it's all about you and what you're accepting and allowing within yourself to continue.

So - removing yourself from this world is not a solution, take it from me: I know, because I experienced it and I would not have another do unto themselves what I have done unto myself. I would suggest you face yourself here in this world, stand up within you here and take responsibility for you here. There are many self support and self assistance application provided here by Desteni so you may assist and support you in every moment of breath.

C'mon man - stop participating in that mind of yours, that's the thing that you're accepting and allowing you to participate in which is causing the experience you're having within you. Stop participating in the mind in every moment of breath - stop participating in emotions and feelings and thoughts of the mind which is causing the experience within you - this is how you stand up within you and take self responsibility for you. Start realising that you're causing the experiences within you because of your accepted and allowed participation in the mind - and you are able to take self responsibility, stand up within you and apply yourself in every moment of breath by not accepting and allowing you to participate in the mind.

You as who you really are within you is the reason to keep on living - YOU, though this YOU, you will only live and experience and express if you apply yourself to stop participating in the mind in every moment of breath.

I'd suggest you start with self forgiveness. As self forgiveness will present to you the opportunity to stand up within you, face yourself here, and take self responsibility for you here. I'd also suggest you start writing - writing down the experience of you and as you write you apply self forgiveness.

Do not make the same mistake I did - stand up within you, stop blaming or placing fault on the world or others - as nothing and no-one else is responsible for what you experience within you but yourself - and so you're able to assist and support you to no longer accept and allow what you experience within you through applying self forgiveness and in every moment when a thought/feeling/emotion come up to say: STOP - I will not accept / allow this - this is not who I am.

Man - if I knew what I understand in this moment - I would've changed the experience of me in this world instantaneously - because I didn't know then, that I actually had the ability within me, to change the experience of me within this world, by assisting and supporting me as who I am.

You have this opportunity, you understand and know that you have the ability to change the experience of you within you - I'd be most grateful if I were you. Grateful that you understand and know that you have the ability to change the experience of you - I'd suggest you do it and you start with self forgiveness. Give you the opportunity in this world to live, experience and express you - to no longer accept / allow anything or anyone to influence you within you - but to stand up and take self responsibility for you in every moment of breath.

There are no Reptilians in this world or of this world - there are no reptilians even in the interdimensional existence - so this fear within you, you can lay to rest. All that exist within this world is human beings with their own minds - lost within their own minds instead of living here in breath as who you really are.

So - start focusing on you, who you are = stop concerning yourself with the world / others of what may / might be going on in this world of which you hear from other human beings also lost within their minds.

The only way you'll stop the pain is through standing up within you and stop participation in the mind in every moment of breath = especially also assisting and supporting you with self forgiveness = YOU ARE THE SOLUTION - so, live and apply yourself in every moment of breath and not accept / allow anything less than who you are.

SELF FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY! So start immediately.

If you require any further specifics with regards to self forgiveness - let us know - we're here.

Courage
I love this expression. Remember this is why we are here, to express, and then when we find another expression. We express and we forgive and we wonder--are the lurkers crinching--are they applying --are they judging.

Courage is expression

courage is speaking you mind

courage is forgiveness

courage is honesty

courage is trust

courage is pain

courage is intimacy

courage is selfrcognition

courage is clawing my way out of the dark pit of the mind

courage is integrating my mind and directing it

courage is alone

courage is stretching out my hand to move me

courage is moving

courage is saying "no more"

courage is crying

courage is laughing

courage is me

courage is love

courage is living words

courage is aware

courage is here as me

courage is no more fear

courage is gentleness

courage is rage as a river raging tumbling down the rabbitt whole and being Alice in a world of reverses and mirrors

courage is not knowing the next moment

courage is no more past

courage is present as myself

courage is selfexpression to face my world

courage is why we are here