2007 - 2008
Seeing through the Veil
One of the big issues that come up after acknowledging deeper, life-changing truths is your family and friends. You have managed to see that there is a veil. And when you begin the process of removing your own, those around you notice it. But those around you may be too attached to theirs, so they look at your removing, as an attack on their own.
Human Beings create their reality through the Mind and thus within the Mind, superimposing their Mind-Reality onto Actual-Reality and predominantly refer to their reality from the references of Memory. And, throughout your years of participation with friends and family - you've 'interconnected' within the 'unified field' created of Memory, both within yourself and that of your friends and family; where - all interactions were pre-determined, because the starting-point of the relationships and definition of self and friends/family were based on Memory.
So - everything, the definitions, interactions, experiences and relationships were defined through the mind consciousness system within Memory. The interactions with friends, family were never from/within the Moment, Here - because you 'trusted' your relationships/interactions with them, and they themselves based on Memory and thus in essence trusted your own Memories of them on which you based everything you experience towards them.
So, now - with 'you changing'; your friends and family's 'Manifested Memory Placement' of you within their own Mind is going into 'conflict' with the 'you' in Reality. Because previously, you interacted with them as the Memory/Idea they had of you - where you lived a personality based-on/created/shaped according to how you've defined yourself through others, and so interacted with others as how others saw you and you saw others, never actually from 'who you are'. Now you're no more existing as that Personality other defined you as / you defined yourself as - and that's what's creating the internal-friction in others. Therefore, realize - the process of self-change is and can be quite an adjustment for both self, others and one's total environment; as one realize one's actual effect within self and one's world and the extent to which we're actually self-responsible for ourselves and our world. Therefore, in terms of walking process - Remember, it's for self first - you write, blog, vlog, apply self forgiveness, participate in the Forums - and; as you start stopping, standing and changing internally; you'll start expanding in/through how you live/behave/act.
So - don't deliberately instigate/create unnecessary conflict in your world/reality as attempting/trying to fight with what's here as you; as you do not yet have the actual capacity/understanding as self to direct self as one's world and others effectively in consideration of what's best for all and the principle of equality and oneness, 'cause you have not yet actually lived/manifested that as you, here as who you are and what you live. Therefore, you have to get yourself into a position to direct your world as you effectively and this you'll only be able to do once you've lived self-direction as you, which you start with doing within living/applying the basic tools of self-support and self-assistance. So - take it step by step, breath by breath and work with what's here in the moment within/as self First - it all starts with YOU first.
Fearing Loss of Family
I had a discussion with my mother yesturday, wasn't easy, she's hardcore christian. I bring her so much sadness just because I'm not the same, because I'm going after a different way of life or because I'm doing things that are right to me and very wrong to her. The mere mention of working at the desk of my friend's tattoo shop made her change the subject because she wouldn't discuss it! I see why in such cases parents are only needed for the innocent. I asked her if it was because she feared for my soul or something, and she said no.
I tried to simply tell her about breathing, to help clear her mind of any worries. and I could tell she didn't like it, she just said she preferred to pray to feel better. And no, she doesn't support my decision for a new life because its not through religion and Jesus. She said she didn't even know who I was anymore. This hurts.
Understand that it's not about trying to change her or convince her, you simply be self honest with you that's what it's about, because you're attempting to come from a starting point of wanting to explain something to her that you are doing/involved within, which is separation and thus she will challenge you because the question is; have you formed an opinion about Desteni within you, wherein you see it as an organization counteracting your mother's Christian beliefs, wherein this opinion will manifest so within your reality.
We're not an organization counteracting anything or anyone, we're simply standing for each to see the common sense within the importance to live practically equal and one as all in this world to stop how we've existed and what we've created/manifested/caused because of how we've accepted and allowed ourselves to exist within our delusional self interested mental realities, disregarding what is real here as the physical, destroying ourselves and all else in the process due to each one only regarding themselves as god.
So, your approach with your mother is what is the problem, you're trying to explain to her what you're doing, instead of simply expressing you here in self honesty. Which she's simply showing/revealing to you, that you've separated you from living here in the moment of breath, because you're seeing it as a doing instead of a self expression here in/as common sense within the self realised understanding of why the mind must be stopped, why you must stop what you've become to live equal and one here as all and actually for the first time, live and understand what it really means to care and consider all else that exist as you, instead of constantly abusing and destroying within ignorance.
Speak with your mother as you'd speak with yourself if you were in her position, take it easy, be simple and simply speak in the moment here within self trust, not talking about something, not attempting to explain something, this is separation and this she will challenge, because she's you challenging you.
Express YOU HERE in self honesty, that's it. Live the tools as you, self honesty, self forgiveness, self corrective action and writing, continuing living this as you one and equal, that it's not something you do that you attempt/try to explain to something, they will not hear, because it's not you. When speaking to someone, hear the words as you and speak here in the moment in self honest common sense in self expression as who you are here in the moment with regards to what you see in the moment and speak the insight you see, if there's nothing that express within you in the moment, then don't speak, that's it.
Keep it simple girl.